I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
