4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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