She's JV to your varsity
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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