Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
And then he peed in my hair
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
