Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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