You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
