from now on my penis is your penis
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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