If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
