but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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