Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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