The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
