turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I wish there were birth control emojis
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
