its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
