I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
