she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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