why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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