so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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