I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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