last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize