Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
