The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
