I think my vagina is haunted
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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