Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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