You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
