Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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