Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
try to milk me bitch
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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