So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I pour the whiskey from now on
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
