He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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