Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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