i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
