i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
