Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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