glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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