We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize