Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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