i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
