What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
