I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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