Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i jhust puked up my retainher.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
