I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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