I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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