Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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