i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize