she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
