i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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