You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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