Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
