I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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