Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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