its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
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