It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
