is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
