On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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