Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
