I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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