hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
