you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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