He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
