butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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